Downfall

Have you felt depressed. Have you felt that the world is falling down on you? because I just did. Exams are coming and teachers began to choose their potential students for different subjects. I am not one of them and maybe I will never be one of them. I was sitting in the front when one of my teachers called up students to discuss with them their current status. I am not deaf so I can hear " Potential for A1... can get.. potenial.. not good...targets.."He called up all his star pupil first which is kinda obvious since I heard potential like approximately over ten times. Finally, he called me. I didn't hear potential. When he asked me for my target for Add ma,. I replied with A2. He commented that I was Ambitious. Which mean that I don't have the capabilty to get the result. I am not trying to brag or anything, don't get me wrong but hello! I am the top 3 in class for Add ma! How can those words flew from his mouth that easily? Maybe I haven't perform well but Ambitious is totally a harsh word! I was at the brink of my tears. The words hurt me badly as though slashing my heart. I had to hold back my tear to prevent from breaking down.My mood of the day is affected after that. In addition to that, I felt that everyone is progessing, in English, there are more and more As students producing but why am I still at the tail end? I felt so depressed. I am going berserk. This is really hurful and it is really unbearable. I have no resoute but go to the books and seek for solace. 

Holiday no Holiday.

Hey.

It has been long since I last written.

It's now almost 1 and I am not asleep yet.

Today or should I say yesterday (since it is 1 now), we were celebrating Father's Day. Went to Sakae Sushi and dine in. Pretty cool. I must say that my fav part was when we had the green tea and black sesame ice-cream. They just taste fab! I ordered the Sesame one although I still managed to scoop some Green Tea one and dropped it in my mouth. Ok, I could taste the Sesame right in my mouth now. Geez. It just taste soft and creamy. Melts on your tongue with the aroma of the sesame and the sediments of it. IT WAS FANTASTIC! Holy gosh. After that, went to shop around Lot 1 like POP. SEAHORSE. COURTS. LASERFLAIR. LIBRARY(although you can shop it). KIDDY PALACE. BHG. and well, toilet if that counts.

Wonder why I even visit the Kiddy Palace? That's because I needed to coax my mei so she won't make a fuss or anything. It's just hard to be a good sister.

Even went to COTTON ON, try out some cool clothings. I like the faded looking blue jacket, blue tank tops, white top with blue lines strike across, polka dots dress. Well, I put them back to the shelf anyway or shall I just say that I placed them as a huge pile on the shelf. Well, since, my sis are not buying. It's like when those ppl worked didn't buy, why shouldn't you buying. Even if I buy, I am buying for the new year clothes. That's my mum saying,not mine!

Seriously, why can't I buy them just for the seek of buying and not for Chinese New Year clothes. She always thought that you can't buy anything you want unless you work and you shall use your pay to shop. Walao. I'm sooo mad. Why can't I buy! I wanted a few novels. They said I didn't work so Nonono. I even need to beg them so that they will cash in for the books. (rolled my eyes ). I remembered Hee said that her mum would be more than delight that she 'll pick up books. Seriously, they should invent some sort of machine that match mothers to daughters. Families to daughters. Then, in this case, the world will be peaceful and happy. Geez.

There'r something more to say. But I guess I am feeling all tired and sianZ so good night.

Alexis.

It's not like anybody gg to see this post well except myself. LOSER. 

Good Friday.

I guess today is quite a good day after all.
It was raining outside now but still in the house, the floor remain warm and the air is kinda humid.
I hate the kind of weather after an afternoon shower which left the place to be warm(in a bad way) and the air to be suffocating humid.
I am enjoying my Friday by reading novels and watching shows.
While  I am typing, some of my family members are watching Channel 5 broadcasting Disney movie about Princesses , school and homecoming(I overheard that).
Basically, I am kinda multi-tasking because I am typing by the side of the door of my room and the TV is just not one metre away from me. Therefore, now and then , I get to here bits and pieces of the conversation in the movie.
Well, talking about the movie. I actually fancy English movie which is girlish and mostly about school and girls and romance(sometimes not necessary.)
I like the life of America describe in the novel where girls hang out to shop, having crush(date?), having assignment( Interesting projects i mean) , having lockers and ,my favourite parts are having sleepover and homecoming! Gosh and so much so much more....
Well , like i say it is just a picture paint by the words of the various author that I read. But still, I really enjoy the image although it is virtual and I adores that kind of life.
I bet that this is also the reason why I fancy English novels. (wink!)

Today, I finish reading The other sister by S.T underdahl.  It was quite a disappointment because the author didn;'t really paint a image of the story unfolding before me. Furthermore, the author should have written more about the dance and it actually post disappointment when in the epilogue , it mentioned that the Josey actually broke up with her and was getting engaged. It is a disappointment because just a few pages before, It announced that Charlie asked Josey out for the dance and after a few three pages or so it immediately told you that they broke out. It was a immediately wash down of your high spirit.
As some would say,. It ended abruptly, I wouldn't agree better. I recommend that the author add more romance into the story. ( it is just a suggestion of course).

I rate this 3.5 out of 5. Want to know what I am talking about? Go to the library and grab it! or simply purchase it at bookstores. :)

Better get a glimpse of the show before it ended.

Signing Off,
Alexis.

Minty-smell air in the midnight

Our parents doesn't seem to understand us.
I believe the root cause is that the world have changed. In fact, the world is ever-changing. When it is our turns, we might also not understand what goes in the mind of a teen.
My family was watching secret garden when mum snickered at the sight of a teen suffering social disorder(social phobia). She just couldn't understand why teen are going though all these.
Technologies advance, we the teen are receiving more than what our parents are facing in their youth. Changes come with advantages and disadvantages.

Advantages: We got a wide variety of technologies: Computer, Camera, Phone , MP3 and etc.
These actually coloured our lives with entertainment and luxury. However, these luxury will definitely result in negative effects such as getting addicted to computer games and becoming more reliance on technologies and etc.

Indeed, our parents' youth and ours are spent differently. In fact, the difference is drastic. Thus, this is understandable that parents don't get us.

Well, ok that is a bit of discussion.

Let's get back about talking about my day.

Erm. I got my exam scripts back and i know the grades.
I must say that I am quite disappointed with my result.
It is common test and I expected all my grades to be B3 and above.
Sadly, things weren't going smoothly as I thought.
I got
C6 for English.
B3 for Ema.
C6 for Ama.
B4 for Phy.
A1 for Chem
C6 for Geog
C5 for SS
A2 for Art.

--------------------------------------
A1 for Chem
A2 for Art
B3 for Ema.
B4 for Phy.
C5 for SS
C6 for English.
C6 for Ama.
C6 for Geog

The grades are awfully ugly. I got so many(3Cs) and only got 2 Bs and 2 As.It is so shameful!Although these grades have not finalised, i won;t expect to see much changes. Those underlined are those, I am truly disappointed with. I always have the mindset of " You sow what you yield" but all my efforts didn't show on the grades. I AM LOUSY! USELESS!

I worked so hard for Geog . for Phy. for Ama for CL for so many. Yet what I got in returned is these.
I HATE MYSELF!

I guess I have no one to turn to for consolation so I turn to blog. Haiz. All the people surrounded me with grades like As. How am I going to seek consolation is this way!!?

English really make me depressed. People come from the same band as me last year, can get 30/50 for CT and why can't I ?

I feel so USeless.

Is it because of my high expectations? I don't think so. It is CT and I should get better grades.
I am going for O level and why am I still getting this?

Is this showing the standard of my O level.?

I don't know!

I am lost and got no one to turn to for heart to heart talk.
I am ALONE!I feel so WEAK AND LONELY. I AM LOST!

Geez. I have to admit that I hatred is starting to grow in me towards those who scored well in CT.

In conclusion. I AM STUPID AND USELESS!

After exam-stress

Any wonder if you have that? Oh, erm, I am not sure whether there is still illness ,I just make it up.

Exams are over, yet today i still feel stress.
Part of it is study stress another part of it is family stress. THAT is really personal so I won't touch on that.
Studies is pushing me again because just today, the first day of school after exams, I have maths homework. Not really much but still with the Art coursework it is definitely enough to form significant stress. HAIZ.
I am feeling really moody just hope that someone will lend me her listening ears.
I guess I will just stop here because i am kinda wordless.

Regards,
Moody Alexis.

P.S : Gosh.,I need some air!

Grateful day.

It has been so long since I last written. It;s going to be CT week in just a few days. SIANZ
I haven't even start my revision. Geez. Anyway, just to update you guys a little bit on what happened today in school. Erm. Can't remember much.
Ok. The day started at around 6 something when I woke up and early in the morning, I have to wake my pa up to send me to the school. So the school day started when my pa on his motor engine and whizzed me to the school. I am always grateful that i am not late because of my pa's vehicle.
We had SDL and lessons...
Oh. Ms Lee didn't come to school today, heard that she was sick and Ms Yong came in to our class to give instructions. Ahaaaa. Miss her so much.
So and so.
Got my readers'digest today. Hee. I am going to buried myself in that in the night.
Had a quite interesting CE lesson , all thanks to Mr Kat's humour. LOL.
Then I was reluctant to leave my seat and go for lunch plus I wasn't very hungry thus I just sat in my seat and had a heart-to heart talk with EE
SKIP.SKIP.SKIP.
Lydia came to my classroom and asked me if I am going to stay back with her to do work. I felt apolgetic for rejecting her. But, if I don't I will hate myself. SKIP.
Had Chinese supplementary class today, it was gr8 because we did not need to do paper 1 whereas ms tan gave us the time to let us have self-revision. Thanks goodness.
SKIP.SKIP.SKIP.
Well, i guess that's the end of the post.
By the way, EE just to let you know, I posted this because you said you wanted to read my blog. Hahaha.
Well, See you.

Regards,
Alexis.